Marriage and PregnancyCommunication Tips For Women, By Men
Get to the Point
When asked, "How was your Day" (or any other question that could generate a long answer) give us an Executive Summary. Don"t go into detail about every aspect of your day. Briefly describe each main event in 1 or 2 sentences. After the Summary, we may ask for more detail on specific events, at which point you can talk as long, and in as much detail as you want since we specifically requested it.
Men tune out quickly when you do not get straight to the point. Although we are nodding and saying "uh-huh", we are NOT listening to you when you take 20 minutes to tell us something that could have been summarized in 20 seconds.
"Dinner is ready. Come and eat now!"
Don"t nag. Try this instead: "I see you are busy. Just come and eat whenever you are ready." If you are a habitual nagger, he will likely be so stunned, and grateful, that he will stop what he is doing and come to the table.
Whenever we accomplish something big, there is a force build-up not to do it again. For example, if a guy is fishing and catches the biggest fish of his life, he has to stop. He can"t keep fishing.
In the dinner example, the big thing is the woman"s atypical behavior. If the man is accustomed to nagging, there will be a force build-up to stop what he is doing, just as the fisherman had to stop fishing.
To communicate effectively with men, understand how we process information. Give us a quick overview, after which you can embellish at your leisure. We are much better listeners after we know where the story is going, and can ask specific questions. It"s simple give and take: Do it our way for the first three minutes, and we"ll do it your way for the rest.